I recently had an epiphany about my fascination with feminist ideology. That is: that I come from a strongly matriarchal family, surrounded by powerhouse women who are driven, successful and independent. To better explain this, let me tell you a little bit about the Aloma family… (side note: My full legal name, Angela Amerigo Aloma, includes my father’s surname Amerigo followed by my mother’s Aloma, as is Spanish custom).
After having 5 children (!) in quick succession, my grandmother took a job at the national newspaper in Barcelona, working evening shifts. This was very avant-garde in a time when women rarely worked outside the home. She ended up being a foreign correspondent and spending stretches of time away, covering conflict in the Middle East, and becoming the main breadwinner for the family. This effectively left my mum, her sisters and brother to mainly fend for themselves, as my grandfather's involvement in parenting was at the typical level for a man of the time.
Whether through example or as a result of having to become independent fairly early, all of the Aloma girls turned out to be high-achieving and career-focused. My uncle joined the army and later became a policeman… and a part of me does wonder if this could have been influenced by being the lone male in a house full of strong females and needing to soothe his masculine preoccupations by surrounding himself with men? But THAT is a whole other story we won’t be diving into today!
I was lucky enough to visit Spain in June this year and being reunited with my grandmother, who I have been very close with my whole life, as well as spending time with my aunts and my mum made me realise that they have all been a huge influence in the way I see the world. Feminism was implicit in my upbringing, with my female role models often assuming leading roles within their relationships, at least in terms of character.
Fast forward to here and now. I have always felt that women are strong, capable and deserving of equal rights, opportunities, pay, and respect as men. Believing this doesn’t much change the fact that living in a patriarchy means that none of these are afforded to women at such levels as they are to men. I have also felt horrified and angered at the atrocities and injustices committed against women, historically but also to this day. It seems to me like any decent person, when presented with the facts, would think the same. How are we not all feminists??
And then I became a mum. Bringing another human into the world demands so much more from the female partner, right from conception and arguably for the rest of everyone’s lives (in most cases). I assumed the role of primary caregiver, and given the financial reality of my relationship, reluctantly also the project manager for the household. This (almost inevitable) imbalance has really opened my eyes and made me hungry to learn more about how little the narrative around a woman’s place in the world has changed, despite decades of women speaking up, asserting their power and challenging tired stereotypes.
So that is the feminist thread of my story. At a time when it feels like we are sliding backwards in terms of progress made, watching men wield power in mind-bogglingly obtuse ways, it feels just as urgent to be talking about these things as it ever was. Why wouldn’t we be angry? Why wouldn’t we want better for ourselves, for our daughters (and sons)? I’m getting to a point in my life where denying that these things are taking a front seat in my mind feels inauthentic. So if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be over here reading my books, making my paintings, and talking about the collective micro and macro injustices that feel very personal.
Xx Angela